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Issue Date: June 2013

Rating the Suburbs 2013: Feathered Fad

The cement goose isn't just a a decoration, it's a conversation piece. Once owner agreed to give us a fashion show.
Jason Brill

WHAT'S GOOD FOR THE GOOSE is good for anyone driving by Parma resident Kathy Jaronowski's house. She uses a plastic version of the popular cement lawn decoration to celebrate the seasons, holidays and her interests by dressing it up with outfits she finds at high school or church craft fairs. The goose is usually in her front yard, but occasionally makes an appearance on her back patio when the weather is nice, so she can appreciate it too. Jaronowski has nearly a dozen different outfits for her goose, but admits some are cooler than others. She shared some of her favorites with us.

Donald Hunter RainGear Snowman

"Me and my husband both ride. The outfit has a fake fringed leather jacket, a little biker scarf with an eagle on it and the hat an old biker would wear. I put his sunglasses on, and it's pretty cool looking."

"My favorite character is Donald Duck. I have a whole curio cabinet of figures, watches and other things. My sister surprised me for Christmas one year. Her mother-in-law made me the top and hat that he wears."

"He's got a camouflage jacket and he's holding a little plastic pop gun. And the hat with the muffed earflaps. Actually, I'm a big animal advocate. We're not into hunting. It's just a cute outfit."

"He's ready for spring with a yellow umbrella that actually works. He's got the yellow rain slicker and hat. Winter is over, and spring is on its way, so [it's] usually up at the beginning of April."

"A snowman is my favorite for winter. He's got a white ball-looking suit with buttons, a scarf and hat to go with it. That could be up all winter long. It's not necessarily just for Christmas."

Please ... Just Don't
These yard adornments have overstayed their welcome in our book.

Shadow Silhouette Cutouts: By now we should be used to these double-take-inducing wooden figures leaning against trees, but they still creep us out.

Flamingo Surprise: Plastic flamingos haven't been stylish in decades. But now even the move of having a few dozen ironically dropped on your front lawn to wish your unsuspecting spouse a happy birthday has grown thin.

The ClothesLine: Even in today's social-media age of oversharing, no one wants to see your laundry flapping in the wind — dirty or not.

Steelers Flags: We're accepting of differences, but nothing brings down suburban camaraderie on a Sunday afternoon like this dastardly yellow and black banner.

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