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Issue Date: February 2014

Selfie Games

Jason Brill

Selfies. We hate that we love them. But we aren't the only ones: The Oxford English Dictionary named it the Word of the Year for 2013, while the president got caught taking one at a funeral. Even last month, we became a tad obsessed with the #SelfieOlympics Twitter trend (see example to the right), where people snapped photos of themselves doing stunts in their bathrooms. In an effort to close the book, we scoured Instagram and Twitter accounts for great achievements in the genre. So now that we've put them in the magazine, please stop taking them. And if you hold up your end of the bargain, we promise to never mention the word again.

Dear Selfie Taker,  
Today's a big day. After 46 pictures using 37 different angles and 16 filters, it's time to choose a photo that you took of yourself. You cropped the photo yourself and uploaded it yourself.This project was all you. It's not healthy.

A few facts to consider before sharing that selfie:

 1  People will turn your picture into an embarrassing meme. And by people, I mean I will turn your picture into an embarrassing meme. And I have more followers than you.

 2  Instagram is to photography as autotune is to singing. Apologize to professional photographers everywhere for ruining their craft. They went to school for that!

 3  If you really were that pretty or handsome, someone would have asked to take a photo of you. Rose didn't paint a picture of herself, Jack asked her first — and then Jack died
when the Titanic sunk.

Warmest regards,

Chad Zumock, The Sit Down Zumock Podcast!

Follow us on Instagram @clevelandmagazine, where the only selfies are the covers of our magazine.  


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