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Issue Date: May 2007 Issue

Marrying a Catholic priest

Though priests are mandated by the Roman Catholic Church to remain celibate and unmarried, Linda and Phil Marcin were called to marriage and wed in 1982. Linda’s husband was laicized, forbidding him from performing priestly duties. But since canon law says “once validly received, sacred ordination never becomes invalid,’’ Phil Marcin still performs baptisms, serves Holy Communion and completes other priestly duties when asked by everyday folks.
Andy Netzel
He insisted I just call him Phil, but I couldn’t. I thought that the title — Father Phil Marcin — and that black shirt and stiff white collar was a good barrier. It was a reminder to me that there were certain lines I could not cross.

I was a single mom when I met him. I started attending [Akron’s] St. Bernard’s, where he was an associate pastor. We very quickly became friends. We had a lot in common. We used to discuss theology a lot. I think I frustrated him, because I was more liberal than he was. He had a very strict Catholic upbringing. I was more open. I had attended a lot of different churches, but I always felt called to the Catholic Church.
I always thought that when my son Scottie was on his own, I would become a nun. I never really thought I would ever marry again. But, I thought if I ever did find the right man, I wanted someone who loved God as much as I did.
It was a very spiritual experience the moment I fell in love with him. We were at inquiry class — a course I took to become Catholic — and he put on a song by Joe Wise called “Maleita’s Song.” The words were “I’m in love with my God and my God is in love with me. The more I love you, the more I know, I’m in love with my God.” As I listened to the words, I opened my eyes and I looked at Phil. I really believe God let me see him through His eyes. I was filled with this enormous, tender love for Phil.
It scared the living daylights out of me. At the time, I didn’t know the history of the married priesthood. I just knew priests weren’t allowed to marry. I kept my love a secret for five years. I was terrified that when he looked at me, he would be able to tell how I felt about him.
After five years, it became too difficult. I was going to leave St. Bernard’s. I invited him over to dinner to say goodbye. That’s when we admitted to each other that we were in love. That’s the first time I could call him Phil.
For two years after that, neither one of us wanted him to give up his priesthood, but we also couldn’t stand the thought of losing each other. The only person I told during that time was my son Scott. He was really a genius. At 12 years old, he had researched all of this and knew that mandatory celibacy did not come from God. It was a man-made rule imposed in the 12th century. It opened me up to a whole new reality.
It’s terrible to be in love and just want to tell the whole world but have to keep it a secret.
Phil and I went through counseling. We realized we were called to marriage.
It was a relief to tell my friends. My friends knew I was in love, but not with whom. I think they thought I was in love with a married man. They were thrilled when they found out it was Phil, because everyone loved and respected him.

For his family, it was very difficult. They were very strict Catholics. Wonderful people, but they didn’t all understand. I think Phil’s mom, along with a lot of other people, thought I was competing with God in his life. When we were called to marriage, I think people thought he put me above the Lord, which was anything but true.

About a month before he left, Phil told the parishioners at all the Masses exactly what he was going through, told them they could come and ask any questions. Instead of leaving town and disappearing, we stayed in Akron and made ourselves available. That’s how our ministry continued.

We were married in May of 1982. We couldn’t get married in the Catholic Church, but we had a religious ceremony at Arlington Church of God. We had our marriage validated in the Catholic Church in 1986 after Phil was laicized. We still believe he is a priest, though. Once ordained, you are always ordained.
We had two sons. Phil baptized both of them and gave each their first communion.

People ask us why we stay Catholic. We believe in the church. We believe in the sacraments. We know the church has a lot of problems, but they are not going to be solved if people like us take the easy way out and leave. So we stay and hope we can make a difference.
 — as told to Andy Netzel
********************BONUS WEB CONTENT*********************
In May's Experience, Linda Marcin tells the story of how she fell in love and married the Rev. Phil Marcin, a Roman Catholic priest. Cleveland Magazine asked the Marcins and the Cleveland Catholic Diocese if they would answer some questions on tape. The Marcins agreed, but the diocese refused.
We directed the questions for the diocese instead to Sheila McGinn, a John Carroll professor who teaches early church history. Click on the questions below to hear the answers.
Phil Marcin: What effect does mandatory celibacy have on the priesthood?

Linda Marcin:  Would allowing married priests to serve solve the priest shortage?

Phil Marcin:  Should you be able to serve?

Sheila McGinn:  Is there a historic basis for celibacy in the church?

Sheila McGinn: Why doesn't the Vatican let married priests serve?
Saturday, October 11, 2008 12:26:41 AM by E. Mary
Linda, I recognized right away that moment when you looked up and saw Phil with that incredible tenderness. I had the same experience with my priest. It was a moment of intense prayer and I have been falling in love with him over the past year and a half and cannot tell anyone. Thank you for your story. Phil, what do you think now about your call to the priesthood? Did you not hear God clearly? Is it possible to serve for a season? Can't God call you to pastor for awhile and then to raise a family? Why do we say that it is all or nothing? A priest in his traditional duties for life? God called me to be a mother and now a social me there is a season for everything. E.
Thursday, February 11, 2010 5:59:39 PM by Anonymous
I had the same experience with my ex fiance. He had other women and he always laid to me. Now, he still living in the same way and also, he took advantage on me (furniture, clothes, etc). I feel betrayal and I hope God will forgive him.
This was very painful for me and my family who loved him.
There is a season for everything and God will send me a good me and God will do the right thing with him.
Sunday, April 04, 2010 8:15:06 PM by Anonymous
Your story is very touching. I´m in love with a priest and I have started feeling he is too, but we both have decided to keep things under control as much as we can because of his duties and rules he is forced to obey and because I´m a married woman. But who decides whom we love? I´m happy just been near him and his face shines when he sees me... we don´t need anymore... at least for now... God bless you. Sorry for my English I´m a latin woman.
Thursday, July 22, 2010 12:37:53 PM by Anonymous
The Catholic Priest I fell in love with also is in love with me and we are both currently trying to discern God's call - God's will for us individually but in respect to the love that has developed between us. This essentially means almost no communication while discerning our relationship and God's will in it. When I first started to notice feelings for him, I tried so hard to ignore them and to ignore him - he is a Catholic Priest after all! But he too has shown great love for me while keeping our relationship pure in which no one could accuse us of wrongdoing. Our love is a shared love - it is a deep, respectful love for which I am thankful but it also comes with great pain - a sacrificial love to be sure. We are both passionate about our Catholic faith and our love for God. I want nothing more than what is best for both of us in truth...this is not for me to "do" but only for me to acknowledge and discern the truth in my love for this man, praying constantly, seeking God's guidance and strength, and trusting that God will bring good to both of us through it - whatever that is. We are called to trust in God's love and grace, for His love never fails and is always trustworthy. God will have to do the rest.

As much as I have been able/required to 'take charge' in order to survive and navigate through my life, this has come with no ability to 'take charge' and no ability to create my own destiny when remaining true in my faith. I am learning the grace of "allowing God" and just "being" in this for what it is and with all of the emotions that accompany it. God has allowed or willed this love for His is up to us to live accordingly what is right and good and allow God's will to be carried out for our good and for the good of others. Would I love to skip the pain of unreciprocated love as I want to understand it? Of course! But at what cost...what would we miss by skipping the lessons that come through any difficulty in life for they are of greater value than the pain I am suffering now. I asked God several years ago for "His best" for me. I still want to realize His best for me — for both of us. So, I live in today and hope in God's great love for my future and for the future of the Priest whom I dearly love. God's love for us is passionate and unconditional - His love is always faithful and lasts forever. And while this may all •sound' brave and possibly even a bit indifferent to the circumstances, this is nothing less than excruciatingly difficult nearly every day as it reaches the very depths of the human spirit in the desire to love and to be loved. But Christ's love took him to the cross in his love for us•so this suffering is small in comparison for which I remain thankful. I know God will not abandon us as we trust Him in His love and His faithfulness - He is full of kindness, compassion and mercy.
Thursday, July 22, 2010 10:54:47 PM by Anonymous
Linda, your story really impacts me for I too have fallen in love with a priest. Their are many challenges I face every day because of this. Im my case, he was the one to make the first move and talk to me about his feelings. Both of us have openly expressed our feelings to each other and are daily challenged to keep this love as a secret. My family seem to suspect something and do not understand the feelings that we have for each to her. We need advise. We do not know clearly what to do.I know I love him and he loves me. Your story gives me the courage to love him ven more than i already do.
Thursday, July 22, 2010 10:55:47 PM by Anonymous
Linda, your story really impacts me for I too have fallen in love with a priest. Their are many challenges I face every day because of this. Im my case, he was the one to make the first move and talk to me about his feelings. Both of us have openly expressed our feelings to each other and are daily challenged to keep this love as a secret. My family seem to suspect something and do not understand the feelings that we have for each to her. We need advise. We do not know clearly what to do.I know I love him and he loves me. Your story gives me the courage to love him ven more than i already do.
Sunday, July 25, 2010 7:39:46 PM by Anonymous
I recently met a catholic priest who i eventually ended up making out with. He was clearly flirting with me and did not resist the physical affection like i assumed he would. Firstly, im not a catholic nor do i agree with celibacy because its unnatural. God made a man and woman to come together and complete eachother. But my worry is that if a man makes a vow of celibacy but acts in this way, then isnt he lying to himself? I feel like saying to him,
quit the act and get married or something because you obviously are in want of female affection/attention. I really wish they would allow catholic priests to get married. Its a lot healthier for them and im sure that the number of sexual abuse incidents within the catholic church will dramatically if this law of celibacy was discontinued. Its common sense. I dont belive that being married would hinder a priest in any way.
Sunday, September 26, 2010 3:57:16 AM by Anonymous
Linda's acount is one which the faithful are hearing with increasing regularity these days.I cannot comment on the rights or wrongs of each individual case.Equally I cannot presume to know whether in God's eyes such unions are wrong per se.However,what is clear to me is that the potential for scandal and the undermining of the faith of a congregation is high in these situations.If a parishioner has sat at Mass being lectured to on,say,the sinfulness of dishonesty and hypocricy or on the sins of adultery and lust,by a man who has been having a covert affair all the while,one can well understand at the very least,a sense of betrayal if not anger in the hearts of the faithful.It is all very well focusing on the romance of situations such as Linda's but one requires to have regard to wider considerations than one's own selfish interests.If anyone wishes to be a follower of Christ he must deny himself and pick up his cross daily.Such an admonition by Our Lord appears to me to quite apposite in situations like these.We are Christians,not hedonists and the Cross not the pursuit ot the path of least resistance ought to be our guide.And what did he say about those who "lead one of these little ones of mine astray."? Nothing is impossible to God.Celibacy may be a man made rule but the Lord promised a great reward to those who left their families for his sake thereby implying that such an ostnesibly unnatural act is possible with God's grace and to be highly commended.
In all of these anecdotes about Priests falling in love please do not forget to honour the men who have seen out their Priestly vows to the end of their days and the faithful who's spirit is crushed by yet another departure from the rapidly dwindling number of good Priests.
Monday, February 07, 2011 11:00:45 PM by Anonymous
I believe women are falling in love with Catholic priests because they are called to a unique relationship with God. In this world, we are craving this relationship with God. I believe it is the actual relationship with God we search, however, no credit is given to the Catholic church for their wisdom in this matter. The world tells us to let them marry so the world can have them in their own way. I believe we will loose a great mystic joy should we destory the priesthood. Women should look at what they are in love what not whom. Single pregnant mothers tend to fall in love with their male OBGYN for the same reasona comfort, solid, a belief they want to believe in.
Monday, February 21, 2011 12:00:29 PM by Anonymous
hi Linda thank you for sharing you story ,anyway am that one person hated women who were lovers to our priest,but it caught up with me,am a single mother and i always prayed for GOD to give me husband ,during rent 2009 i committed my prayers to that ,the only person who came to me and asked for relationship was my perish priest ,i could not resit ,i pray every day God open up this for me and him cos its like to us its true love ,i love him and he loves me ....HE is a priest and nothing will ever change him..he does not want us to have kids nor get married just share our love hiding,please pray for me and for him to make the right decision am a true catholic.
Friday, March 25, 2011 1:34:09 AM by Anonymous
hello, i have these very strong feelings for a roman catholic priest. Im not sure how to approach him about the way i feel so I make excuses to visit him each week at his church... I can't tell him how i feel about him because I'm 30 years younger than him and he might not take me seriously. I wish he would open up and think about me without me having to tell him. I hope that he will retire from priesthood and so I can live with him....
Thursday, April 28, 2011 5:00:22 AM by Anonymous
Hi Linda thanks for this encouranging story I am also inlove with the catholic priest his whole family knows me we even have two kids together, He still continues with his obligation of priesthood and this balances our relationship well. They should be allowed to marry as they will be able to continue serving God with our support as women
Wednesday, June 15, 2011 4:00:32 PM by Anonymous
Hello Linda, its great that you're able to share your story to us. I, for one feel something towards one of God's servants in our parish, and right now he is about to be ordained. He was newly assigned in our parish as a deacon 6 months ago and at first I did not know him nor met him for the first 2 months that he spent in our parish. It was in March this year that I noticed him and I somehow have this feeling of adoration because he's quite a good looking man as well and a neat one. During this time I never had imagined to feel something deeper for him. Days and months passed, and I get to see him more the next few months because of the activities in our church for lenten season of April, flores de mayo for May and now June, where he is about to be ordained. Upto this day I have this feeling of debate in fighting for this feelings I have. He did not know about this but there are quite a number of incidents where he talked to us (usually when we're having meetings in the church) and I get a chance to talk to him too but never did I show some motivations however everytime I attend a mass and he's also there in the altar as a right hand, I somehow notice him snatching glimpse of me but I don't want to be "erotomaniac" and so I just ignore it but at the end of the day, the image of that glimpse lingers in my mind. I am single with no kids and no boyfriend. He's 8 years older than me. But same as the comment left last Thursday, July 22, 2010 12:37:53 PM by Anonymous
..I love God and for me telling him how I feel might be bothersome and for me giving into this feeling is somehow one way of the devil to tempt those who remain pure for God and so I will keep on discerning and pray for all those who feels the same way. If we do love God then we should think God first above all things and fight the feeling that somehow lures both you and the person you like. If you will not cultivate what you feel it will not grow deeper so before you fall so deep, ask God for enlightenment. Let's pray for all our priest who are having the feeling of love towards their parishoners. Celibacy isn't about hindering priest to get marry rather its about keeping them pure in the eyes of God. A married man is more likely to have more problems and perhaps sin, but if they will stay within their calling and promise then they are not just helping us but they are serving God according to His Will. To God be the Glory.
Friday, August 12, 2011 7:21:10 AM by Anonymous
Hi linda your story is very courages, I am in the same situation in love with a priest for 8yrs and i really do not want him to leave his priesthood.His family knows me and everything is normal
Saturday, February 04, 2012 12:53:55 AM by Tommy Volinchak
This is one of the ridiculous man-made rules of teh Catholic chirch that chased me away years ago.

In his letters to Timothy, Saint Paul directs that men of God, that is to say deacons and bishops, (the invention of priest came many years later) must be married men with children. To paraphrase scripture, if a man cannot rule his own family then he cannot lead the family of God.

Heterosexual, married, male. hat's what the Bible says. Anything else is a perversion and not part of Christianity.
Wednesday, March 28, 2012 2:30:17 PM by Anonymous
Thank you for sharing your story, Linda. I just recently got myself into an intimate relationship with the priest I worked with closely. Now I think about, we spent aweful amount of time together and became more intimate. I loved him as who he was, respected him, and admired him so much even before I met him in personal level. For me to love him and sympathize his difficulties/hardships in more personal level came so naturally even before I came to realixation. We had a long stare without word, just sharing the deep desires we made out. BUT we never talked about it up front we are stil seeing each other. I'm very afraid to openly discuss about it. I went to confession and was recommended to get away from him after having a good conversation of alerting him of his fault, Yet I couldn't do it. With having him going through so much workload he has, I could not talk to him in depth. On top of that, I love so much I came closer to prayers with this. To Love him was not any different fromm loving another human being. Also, I researched a lot as your son did and found out that celibacy was instituted by man there is no clear identity or description of who Jesus was and how he taught the celibacy. None in bible says anything about it clearly. I'm very devastated, confused, and scared of what I'm going through my family sensed my feelings toward the priest, yet it is harder for me since we both ( the priest and myself) act nothing has happened our love is secretive under. I am content at where I'm at despite of all the depressed feelings my love so much that I overrides all barriers.....yet still very hopeless for the future..
Saturday, May 12, 2012 2:44:09 PM by Anonymous
Thank you Mrs. Linda for sharing your story. I feel in love with my parish priest also. I have been keeping this love for about 8 yrs now. Sometimes when I see him I feel like as if my heart is going to explode and all I want to do is sit and stare at him. I absolutely love him but I do not have the courage to tell him. God's blessings for you and your family...
Thursday, June 14, 2012 7:25:47 AM by Maryam Lime
The history of clerical celibacy is ancient!
It begins with Christ, the perfect High Priest. St. Paul was celibate and explicitly prayed that all might be celibate as he was, but that marriage was better for those who cannot exercise self control.
Perhaps you could read, in entirety, 1 Cor. 7:7-38. .  Also read Mat. 19:12. 
The Bible alone clearly teaches that marriage is good and celibacy is better (1 Cor. 7:38)
Celibacy wasn't imposed on the earliest apostles, because the Church was just beginning, but it goes back to the very first Catholic communities, to the earliest centuries. To claim that celibacy began in the 12th century is
equivalent to saying that Isaac Newton discovered gravity in the year 300 AD.  This is simply an absurd statement that is so flatly false as to warrant no attention.
Thursday, June 14, 2012 7:27:48 AM by Maryam Lime
Secondly, yes, the author is right about one thing. Once a priest always a priest. The same is true of baptism.  Even a priest in Hell is a priest forever. Just as the Church has no power  cannot possibly confer the priesthood on a woman, in the same way the Church cannot remove priestly Orders once validly conferred.  The nature of the Sacrament is given us by God, and is not made by the Church.  The Church is the custodian of this treasure, not the author.
My understanding is that a laicized priest may ONLY exercise his priestly faculties by providing spontaneous absolution and annointing of the sick if someone is in imminent danger of death.  This is the mercy of the Church, a concession in the interest of a person who, for example is suddenly fatally injured in the company of the laicized priest.  In this case, the needs of the soul in danger of death outweigh the important considerations (such as scandal) in otherwise prohibiting the priest from exercising his priestly faculties. 
Further, my understanding is that, if the laicized priest were to disobediently exercise his priestly faculties by, for example, confecting the Eucharist, the Sacrament would be valid, but, of course, illicit.  (validity and liceity is a vital distinction and is not difficult to understand).  In other words, his action would be gravely immoral (because not permitted), a most grievous mortal sin, but the Mass would be real, and the Real Presence of the Holy Eucharist would be real, as well.
Wednesday, June 27, 2012 10:00:33 PM by Anonymous
I have fallen in love with a priest and I thought he felt the same. I have told him through letters and want to talk to him but he won't talk to me about "it." I believe he's in denial or is choosing to be in denial. When we look each other in the eyes, it's the most wonderful feeling I have ever had. Now, he puts a wall up. I'll never understand why he does that and won't talk about it...because I know he cares.
Wednesday, July 04, 2012 2:44:28 AM by Anonymous
I myself is inlove with a catholic priest. He was assigned in our parish 2010 and as a new pastor, he was struggling on how to start his apostolate and work in the parish community. Being one of the leaders in the parish, I stay by his side throughout the adjustment period, I guess that when it started. We always talk, we go out, he's always taking me home. Even at night, we talk over the phone. At first i didn't recognize that we were on the next level, i thought it's merely friendship. Until such time that he will ask me out, to have coffee, go out of town. And i was used to it already, i thought it's normal. I am not doing anything wrong. I am just friendly and supportive. Then here comes realization, I too became possessive as he is possessive of me. I always check his schedules as he is checking mine too. Every night he calls me up just to say he's on his way home. I message him if he's not updating me his whereabouts. We became intimate with each other. We kissed, we hugged, we made love already. I was really guilty after the first time I made out with him. I keep my distance for awhile. But my love for him is stronger and it weakens all my defenses. So when he's trying to make up (as if it's all his fault) I gave in. We are not talking about US, what relationship we have but I know in our hearts we love each other. No promises, no clarifications, no tags, nothing at all. But what we have is special. I will never demand that he'll marry me and have a family of our own. I dream of that ofcourse but just thinking the people that we will be hurting, I'd rather be the one hurting the rest of my life. I will never ask him to leave the priesthood. Because He will be forever be married to the Church. He may not be pure because of me but God knows we both love our church, our faith, our chosen vocation. I am in love with a priest. I can't be proud of it but at the end of the day I still am in love with a priest. Sad but it's my decision. Thank you for taking time to read my story, Please pray for me.
Friday, October 26, 2012 3:19:02 PM by Anonymous
I have personal experience of ardently loving a priest according to God. Jesus said, "If you love me you will keep my commandments." And, at her trial, St. Joan of Arc said, "About Jesus Christ and the Church, I simply know they are just one thing and we shouldn't complicate the matter." Thus, a person who truly loves God will follow the teachings of the Roman Catholic Church. Sexual relationship with a priest is a mortal sin. Anyone who acts otherwise is deluding theirself, no matter how powerful the feelings. Real love is not a feeling, it's a choice, love is in the will, the will is the apex of the soul. If you TRULY love a priest, love him in God and for God only, not for yourself. That means helping him live his eternal CELIBATE vocation as priest. Snuff out from yourself all desires to the contrary, and if you cannot do that, then cease all contact with him. That is real love.
Thursday, April 04, 2013 1:28:07 AM by Anonymous
Ladies, don't kid yourself. It takes no courage at all to kiss a priest, make love with a priest, be "in love" with a priest. I should know because I've been down that road. I work with priests, so I've been friends with many of them, loved just one. I am not casting stones because I am as guilty as he is, but he did make the first overtures, which surprised me. He kissed me first it was his idea to make love, and we did make love. But I did go along with it because I loved him and wanted to be close to him. I wanted to share something with him that he has shared with no other woman. And I did. Was it worth it? I don't know. He was a good priest and could not function knowing that he was loving a woman in secret. So we did what adults do we sat down and talked about our situation. We decided that in order to best show our love for each other, for our holy mother, the Roman Catholic Church, and for God, we had to separate. Of course this left both of us heartbroken, but we managed precisely because of our love for each other and my respect for his priesthood, for I know he had a genuine calling. God, in His wisdom did reunite us many years later. He had received permission to become an Army chaplain, and he contracted cancer from chemicals used in the Gulf War. He died in the hospice where I work while I was holding both of his hands. I will love him and miss him every day of my life, but I feel we did the right thing by separating. As the poster above me states, being "in love" is just a fleeting feeling. Real love honors and respects the beloved. If you find you love a Roman Catholic priest, leave that parish, or ask him to transfer if you've reached that stage of honestly with each other, and really, I don't see how anyone could know they were "in love" unless they had. Help him to live his life celibate as the Church mandates. A married clergy in the Roman Catholic Church would not work for many reasons. But that is not the point. The point is that now, today, Roman Catholic priests many NOT marry and perform the day-to-day duties of a priest. Honor that. Respect that. Only then will you be able to say that you TRULY loved a priest.
Saturday, October 19, 2013 2:03:21 PM by Anonymous
I was suprised to read your story. It is so similar to the beginning of mine. I love God with all of my heart and feel His calling on my life. My Pastor and Priest has become a dear friend to me. We talk about theology, and other interests. The feelings were so unexpected. One day while talking with him, I looked into his eyes. It was as though God allowed me to see into his heart. It's as though I saw the attributes of love, compassion, and strength. For for the first time I felt love. (My ex husband was a very abusive man. he was also unfatihful. I told my friend how I stayed married for so long, becuase I did not want to sin against God.) I asked God, why would you let me feel this for someone that it would be impossible with. I felt so bad for having an innocent school girl crush. I thought that God would send me hell for beginning to love a man who happens to be a priest. It's as though God told me that I had lost Him as my first love, due to all the bad things done to me. I asked God again, why do these feelings linger. The feelings of wanting to spend time with the man who is a priest. I felt as though God said, that is how I feel about my children. I long to spend time with them. This truly touched my heart. That God would want for us to spend time with him. Yet, the feelings did not go away. We grew closer. Our friendship has such a strong connection, that I can't explain. I once went to mass holding back tears, due to something bad that happened. He looked at me and kept wiping tears from his eyes, as I held back mine. He was choked up that he could hardly precide over Mass. This broke my heart, yet truly touched me. The other day, with a far off look in his eyes, he revealed some of his inner most thoughts to me. Just things that friends have said that he should marry. He let me know leading into this that he had stayed faithful to his vow to God. He was not romantically involved with anyone. I wonder if this meant that he was open to the idea of marriage. It hurts to see him struggling with this. His love for God and committment to the Priesthood, and his longing for a life as a married man. It sprang a hope within my heart. This from the girl who runs from every man who pursues her. He is truly a good man. Sometimes its as though we share the same heart, due to the way we feel about things. As though my soul saw his and saw that it was good. And was so glad to finally meet another like it. It may just be a lifelong friendship between us, with neither ever truly revealing their feelings, or perhaps God will call us to that sacrement of marriage. Only with him would I not be afraid. Now I am in prayer for God's leading. I would stand behind my friend whatever he chose.
Sunday, February 02, 2014 2:44:54 PM by Anonymous
I too, am one of the many women in love with a Catholic priest. He said he felt the same but that he was not going to act on it. I know his feelings overwhelmed him and apparently that is very common for Catholic priests. He said he would never retire but he is talking about it now. There is no other man for me, this has been here a long time. Once you fall in love with someone you cannot unfall in love. It's a very painful experience. There are many rules in the Catholic Church which are not of God and they are all about building up numbers and money. The clergy are all aware of this.
Sunday, February 02, 2014 2:55:46 PM by Anonymous
Hallelejah Tommy Volinchak!!!! So true. All else is a lie perpetrated by the Roman Catholic Church. WHY do people refuse to look at the truth - they are so used to being told what they are allowed to do. Try reading Revelation 17 people, it will show you clearly what God thinks of the Roman Catholic Church. You have to have issues to become a Catholic priest in the first place.
Thursday, June 19, 2014 8:37:01 PM by AMDQ
This is complete crap, people WAKE UP! This man (and the other men you are referring to) made commitments, solemn promises of obedience and celibacy to their Bishop, the Church and God. So they "fell in love," what does that mean? I know in my years of life (33 currently) I have "fallen in love" with many people. Does this mean that I meant to live a life with them in marriage? Absolutely not. What about a man or woman who is married but "falls in love" with another person besides their spouse? Does this mean that they have received a sign from God to go to this person? No. You all would agree with me there, so why is it so hard to see the point that much like vows and promises made in marriage, the same is true for the Catholic priesthood. You may attempt to find loopholes and other ways out of this conflict but the bottom line is it is a promise that was made with a clear conscious by these men. The priest is called to live a life like Christ did, a celibate life filled with love and prayers for his own family his parish. There are too many reasons for celibacy in the priesthood, but to blame celibacy on the sex abuse scandal is just flat out wrong. Statistically more children are sexually abused by MARRIED family members - not celibate priests... so that is not an argument. I will keep all of those that have made comments against the priesthood and the call to celibacy in my prayers. To those that have abandoned their flocks and to the man in the this article that still feels that he has the "right" to conduct priestly functions even though he has been laicized you are not greater than the Church, part of what makes us Catholic is the authority that it has on earth and it is not your place, not your right and not in your power to perform functions that you are not permitted - bottom line, no debate. May God bless those suffering from these conflicts of conscious and may God continue to bless the ROMAN CATHOLIC CHURCH.
Sunday, February 22, 2015 6:57:37 AM by Anonymous
Thanks be to God, I was inspired by this last writer who ended with " may God continue to bless the Roman Catholic Church!!!" Oh yes, we must diffirenciate between Lust and love!! What is love? It is our responsibility to pray, and support the Priests in their ministry!! What has become of the Sheep that has turned against their Shepherd?? Please, leave the priests alone, they leave their home, parents, brothers and Sisters to serve God, not to look for who to marry!!
Sunday, March 22, 2015 2:26:15 AM by Anonymous
I was once also fell in love with a priest, its not that I did not tried to stop my feeling, i did really my best to control it but we both felt the same way, and so we kept it as a secret. Being in love with a priest is not easy cause you are fighting against your heart. For those who cant understand, maybe because you had never been in our shoe, and for those who had been and successfully made the right thing to go away from the priest, remember that we are all different from each other. I love my faith as well as my God, he is my strength. But my love for this priest will never fade cause its been 2 years since I decided to move away from him but the love i felt is still the same. People please don't judge us cause you have no right,only God knows and can understand what we felt, we don't have to please you cause even if we will, you will still condemn us. we are all sinners its just that we sinned in this way and you are in different way. I never ask the priest to love me neither he to me, its just we felt the same way unconsciously and we end up being like this. I always cry in front of God, in my prayer, asking for His understanding cause still I love him no matter what. We are still communicating of how is life without each other, but distance can not separate two hearts that really care and in love.
Sunday, April 12, 2015 1:00:56 PM by abbey
my story is much like many others. we began by going to lunch after mass. later there was a catholic tour group which he encouraged me to go with. we had many times enjoying each other's company at home and on the tour. I believe that after we had a romantic dinner that he built up huge barriers. whenever I talked about our relationship he became more distant, even denying that he had never acted to me any differently than any other parishioner. this is what has broken my heart. I know it isn't true. I have suffered over this for months, even though the "friendship" was only for about a year. Perhaps there are those of us who are also called to love a priest, a new form of love in our society, so we may reach God more fully. love is crazy, blind and has no pride. I will see him again. I don't even know how to act anymore. thank you for these people who are writing about this. there seems to be a lot of this.
Sunday, May 03, 2015 12:49:32 PM by Anonymous
Hi, Can I have an advice from yours? Because, I'm falling inlove with a man who wants to be a priest. What should I do? He likes me too. And, I will just aski if it is a sin? I really love him and no one can stop what I feel for him, I want to be with him forever. But for now, I know my limitations and I don't expect too much from him. But I like him. And Ineed to accept things, even though its hard for me.
Friday, June 05, 2015 2:58:52 PM by Anonymous
the same happened to me, i love this priest but i don't know, at mass he stares at me, i keep on seeing in my dreams now he out of the country for study, we still talk on phone
Sunday, June 07, 2015 4:16:03 PM by Anonymous
I like the advice given by ADNQ, June 19, 2014. Prayer is the answer and Adoration.
Monday, July 20, 2015 4:40:30 PM by Anonymous
My story began when I was 24 and the priest was 52 when we fell in love, We were working at the same Catholic College. We fully discussed what him leaving the priesthood would mean to our families and we were not strong enough to face the social stigma at that time in the 1970's. We lived a lie for 29 years until he passed away when he was 81. We shared the ups and downs of our lives. It was marvelous having someone who completely accepted me and the same in reverse. We had all kinds of vacations and together times as much as we could. I knew I would be a young widow whether we had married or not. We had 29 years of sharing and giving of our love to each other. Some marriages don't even last that long. Our counselors did not discourage us and talked about other couples who were living the same lifestyle. Some of our closest friends knew and accepted us into their lives as a couple. I have happy and loving memories of that time of my life and would not be able to accept another man into my life.
Sunday, July 26, 2015 6:37:25 PM by Anonymous
I am a priest for 12,years and loved this lady for 10 years. We are very compatible. Really love her so much. We have made out severally. She's the reason am still hanging on in the ministry. Really feel I owe her marriage but scared about the would be reactions of my family and friends who may feel betrayed. I think celibacy is a human denial of God's gift of life. I have done my work well and even been regarded as a wonderful and great priest while I have had profound sexual life. Sure I wouldn't have done well if I hard stubbornly stuck to this foreign and inhuman theological imposition.
Thursday, October 08, 2015 2:49:47 AM by Anonymous
Since when is loving someone a sin? No matter what oath they took. After all the "first pope" peter or st.peter was married right? I'd say go for it.What have you got to lose? God? If God will never leave us or forsake us then you're all good to go. i know jesus was celibate but no priest will never be jesus so they shouldn't be held to such inhuman rules.
Friday, April 01, 2016 3:25:39 PM by Eddy
Hello,,,I ve same problem,,I came in India for my studies,,
once,SMA priest imvite us as international student in his priestly ordinationa
.after I sent him conglat.sms,,from that time we used to chat
Normal things,,,he used to come to our parish to give us sunday mass
And everytime he sent me sms that he s coming,,,.after one yr he went in Africa as he s SMA priest,,reahing there things become worst
He really loved me ,,he used to chat very soft n sweet words,,
One night he sent me his chest photo,,we felt in love but I calmed him
he became angry,,after my heart s so burning,,everynight
He comes into my dreams,,I really love him,,what can I do,telling
The truth or keep quiet,but my heart ll burst if s long story I jumped
many things

He kept calm but now every night I see him on my dreams,,I see the same
Chest I really love him,what can I do,telling him as he told me before or leave it,,my
Hurt s always burning for him.
of his chest,,and I suddenly felt with him as he felt for me befire
after I tried to calm him cuz it was not good.
Wednesday, April 27, 2016 11:07:25 AM by Anonymous
I was ordained in 1998. I am 43. I fell in love several of times over the years with women in my Catholic ministerial circles. We always broke it off because there was no future. Finally, I fell in love again and this time I was ready to go. My spiritual director of 15 years had always helped me through each challenge to be a committed and spiritual priest. But now he saw that I was completely exhausted and needed to pursue this love. I was a very personable and effective priest. I implemented many programs of new evangelization in my parishes. However, I kept coming back to the hidden, the most obvious program marriage and family. The more I preached the importance of home, the more I realized I needed a home. i was also thoroughly exhausted from moving from one parish to another, bonding with parishioners, then letting them go. I needed stability. I also saw that the rest of my life would contain the same pattern of bonding and breaking and moving on. So I gave my family and bishop plenty of advance notice on when I was going to leave the priesthood and why. They were disapointed to lose a priest with such enthusiasm for the priesthood. But it was the lifestye I could no longer live. An alienating, transient lifestyle is not of God. Spending quality time with Jesus in the Eucharist every day gave me some communion, however, Jesus was inviting me to enter into more communion, the life of marriage and family. I made a special trip to the Holy Land and prayed at each site. I actually felt, and tested, and discerned that it was Jesus who was inviting me, a validly ordained priest, to leave the ministerial priesthood in order to enter into life. So now, having left, I remain a devout Catholic. As I look back I can now see that it is entirely possible to make a sort of idol out of something a holy as the priesthood. A particular mission, no matter how sacred, is still not God. I see that to be a person is to be in relationship. Relationships require stability, and this is most found in a spouse, and if God grants, children. Even my priest friends in religious orders are told they are in "family," but experience a nagging, existential lonliness. I also realize my spouse is not God, and that I cannot make an idol out of her. And that she has needs and moods that require much patience and tongue biting and sacrifice. However, I would rather carry the crosses of life with the support of my spouse, than I once did as a priest, alone.

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