Friends from LA — Melanie (Valerie Bertinelli), Joy (Jane Leeves) and Victoria (Wendie Malick) — are flying to Paris when their plane experiences trouble and lands in what must be hell: Cleveland. Yet, they walk in a bar where men ogle them like beer at a Browns tailgate. They stay and rent a home that comes with sharp-tongued caretaker Elka (Betty White).
Best CLE line: "Listen, I Googled 'Cleveland,' and 'get hammered' and this [bar] is what came up ... along with some very disturbing pictures of Drew Carey," Victoria says.
Wahoo! Indians pennant behind the bar (6 minutes into episode); Hank in Tribe T-shirt (7:15)
Who's Your Mama?
Joy dates a younger man but discovers he may be the son she gave up for adoption. Former soap star Victoria becomes addicted to the Big N Easy, where she can buy in bulk and get mountains of attention from her fans.
Best CLE line: "Cleveland botox?" Victoria asks Melanie. "Good God, woman, are you an animal?"
Wahoo! Tribe wall hanging in Tyler's apartment (13:29); bumper sticker on desk (14:00)
The ladies set up one another on blind dates. Elka meets Max (Carl Reiner) and finds romance quicker than Browns fans swoon over a new quarterback. The other dates are disasters.
Best CLE line: "We got along fine, but [Max] wouldn't go downtown, if you know what I mean," Elka tells the stunned ladies. "What? There's so many good restaurants and shops."
Wahoo! Indians V-neck (2:46) and T-shirt (16:04) at Stormi's
Meet The Parents
Melanie's overprotective mother and Victoria's womanizing father visit and end up in bed together. Elka's Skype session with Joy's uptight English mother, however, makes the show. "No, no, no, you do the shot first then the beer," Elka tells her (8:30).
Best CLE line: "In LA, a farmers market means sushi, paté and gelato," Joy says. "This was just a bunch of stuff — grown by farmers," adds Victoria.
Wahoo! We could only see the sleeve of the guy at the bar behind the ladies, but — sure enough — it had a Wahoo on it (12:02).
The Sex That Got Away
A Rock Hall party creates the backdrop for Victoria to connect with an old flame (Huey Lewis) and Melanie to meet her rock idol.
Best CLE line: "Some of these rockers look remarkably well-preserved. Forget botox, I'm going straight to heroin," says Joy.
Wahoo! None, but there's a June 4 edition of The Plain Dealer with a "Following Every Step of the King" headline (1:35).
Melanie decides to throw a party for the neighbors, complete with Great Lake latkes, Drew Curry with LeBron rice, and Cuyahoga River punch. But in her attempt to make nice, she insults the town to a PD columnist (Wayne Knight).
Best CLE line: "Cleveland's a rock "ËÅ"n' roll town; lots of parties end in fire," Joy says.
Wahoo! Guy in gray Indians T-shirt (6:02)
It's Not That Complicated
Melanie goes to New York to see her daughter onstage but ends up making out with her ex-husband. Elka finds herself between beaus Max and Nick (Tim Conway).
Best CLE line: "You cheated on Max?" Victoria asks. "Twice. First a waltz and then a polka," Elka says. "That's it, you danced?" Victoria responds. "A polka, the Polish forbidden dance of love," Elka says.
Wahoo! Clevelander Tim Conway's fight scene with Carl Reiner had more punch than Indians bats last season (17:22).
The Play's The Thing
Melanie keeps ditching Joy to see her cute cop boyfriend, Pete. A devoted teenage fan, Zack (Mark Indelicato), convinces Victoria to rescue the local high school's flailing production of Romeo and Juliet.
Best CLE line: "What if someone tips off the Cleveland paparazzi?" asks Victoria. "You called three times," Joy replies. "He's not coming."
Wahoo! None. Theater kids don't wear Wahoo.
Good Luck Faking The Goiter
Melanie's 20-year-old son (Joe Jonas) stops for a visit but won't talk to her. She finds his phone and discovers he's engaged. Victoria earns an Emmy nomination, and Elka tries to help her win by spreading a rumor that she has a disfiguring disease.
Best CLE line: "The Cleveland spelling? You went to that?" asks Joy. "I was desperate," Melanie responds.
Wahoo! We're guessing that's a Tribe polo at the 20:33 mark.
Tornado: Season 1 Finale
A tornado (because Cleveland might as well be Kansas) threatens the city and forces the ladies to seek shelter in Elka's storm cellar, where she's been hiding her deceased husband's stolen loot. When Pete arrives to check on them, Elka's booty lands her tush in jail.
Best CLE line: "Elka says tornados never hit Cleveland," says Joy. "She also said LeBron wouldn't leave," Melanie responds.
Wahoo! Coffee mug with a smiling Chief Wahoo (11:57)