You know how it works in the movies. The wife is doing the laundry when she suddenly finds a lipstick stain on her husband’s shirt. Her mind suddenly spins faster than the dryer: Who is it? How long?
“In this day and age, it’s so much more high-tech than that,” says Deanna DiPetta, a divorce attorney with Zashin & Rich in Cleveland. “You see the e-mails. You read the text messages.”
After more than 20 years of handling divorces, DiPetta says she has been lucky enough to see a few mutual divorces where the partners have simply grown apart and ended things amicably. But she also has witnessed downright cruelty, such as the woman who handed her husband a present on Christmas morning, then asked for a divorce.
Beyond the traditional clues (money missing, spouse suddenly busy with work), there are other ways to sniff out a cheating spouse:
You listen to your spouse having sex.
One man called his wife on his cell phone before heading out to see his mistress. In the middle of the passion, one of the lovers bumped the “redial” button. Needless to say, the wife got an earful.
You get a credit card bill for a baby crib or an engagement ring.
Although the couples had separated in both cases, one wife was pretty shocked when she found out her husband was engaged before they were even divorced. The other was stunned to discover her husband — well into his 60s — would soon be a father again.
Your children start talking about a woman they’ve been spending time with along with Daddy — and it’s no one you’ve ever heard of.
Some men don’t realize that preschoolers are pretty articulate and love to babble to Mommy.
Your spouse comes out of the closet.
Believe it or not, this doesn’t always cause a divorce. Some spouses stay married — and celibate. Or not.